Faith or Fear
It’s hard to believe that we’re living in an RV, when I stop and think about it. I’ve had so many dreams that have come and gone, unaccomplished. I stop and wonder how this dream is happening amongst all those that haven’t birthed yet. For those of you who know me, you know, I am not a “minimalist.” Having a “tiny-house” was not my dream. In fact, this is certainly the hardest part to learn for me. Downsizing to get on the road, then downsizing again in the first weeks, has conjured up many emotions. Excitement for what we’re about to embark on. Complete feelings of being overwhelmed that I’m not making the right decisions about what to bring and what to leave behind or sell. I sold a solid silver candelabra at my garage sale. It was on the table labeled fill a bag for a buck (not on purpose, mind you). It was the last day of the sale. We needed to be out of the house the next day. So many decisions to still make and I decided in a flash. When a smart lady stole that up for less than a dollar, she filled her bag with clothing, and a piece of my heart. That was one of the first special gifts that Mike ever bought for me. And though I rarely used it, because it seemed too fancy for my lifestyle, when it was carried out of my life forever, my heart broke. I sat in the garage and cried. I’ve cried a lot these days. You see, moving toward a dream is exciting but it also requires leaving that which we’ve grown accustomed to. And maybe, that which we’ve taken for granted because it’s just been a part of our life for so long, that we’ve forgotten how sweet it is.
Faith or Fear. It’s our choice. This month has been a whirlwind of emotions. We are excited for the possibilities of our dreams becoming a reality. But let’s be real… we’ve never done anything like this before and there are many obstacles to overcome. Faith says “God sold our home and allowed us to rent for 3 months so our kids could finish the year out at school. This gave us time for all the logistics to work out with as little stress as possible and allowed us to pay off all our past debts. This led to ridiculously good credit which allowed us to find a great deal on a newer RV that was only 40 min away from Premier Designs, so we could have Premier’s Prayer staff and Marketing Team pray over us as we began this Work-Family-Dream-Trip.” These were details we could not have manipulated. God showed up and He lit our path for us. Fear says “the taxes alone that we had to pay on this RV are enough to keep us sitting in one place forever… how on earth are we going to keep enough income coming in for gas/groceries/needs/and fun?” Faith says, “If God brought us this far, He’s not going to leave us stranded.” Fear says, “We are leaving town and I don’t have enough business to drive away. What if I am not enough”… Faith says, “GOD IS ENOUGH” What a gift. We don’t have to be enough. I don’t mean to treat God like He’s my “genie in a bottle.” Certainly, if God wants to keep me in one location because we can’t afford to go further, then I will choose to trust Him with that too. But, I believe that if my God gave us this dream. If HE made a way for us to begin the journey. Then HE will make a way for it to come to pass.
I love that God brought us to The Springs Youth Camp FIRST! This year the camp theme was ENOUGH! As in, GOD IS ENOUGH! Mike and I have been blessed to work with some of the finest Christian young people I have ever been privileged to meet. They work, tirelessly, from sun up till way past sun down. They pour love into these children, many of which make it very difficult to be loving towards. I’ll tell you one thing; they are WAY more patient than I would be. I have seen them cry for their campers, because they care so deeply. Mike has been teaching the Junior Campers an incredible week’s worth of lessons on how GOD IS ENOUGH! I’m sure you’re aware that to teach it… you must first study, know it, and then share it. The teacher often learns more than the student. On top of this, we got to hear this message 7 times, for 7 weeks. Two sermons a day about how GOD IS ENOUGH! Monday: He is our Jehovah Jireh, “The Lord is our provider!” Tuesday: Jehovah Raah, “The Lord is our shepherd!” Wed: Jehovah Nissi, “The Lord is our banner!” Thursday: Jehovah Shammah, “The Lord is THERE!” Friday is a review of all 4 names of God. Working through these names of God, we see how God is giving us pictures of who He is. Mike is mostly sharing from the stories of Moses and Peter. We re-live how God proves who HE IS to Moses and that Jesus is not only a man with Peter, but also THE ONE TRUE JEHOVAH GOD! It is powerful. It is so good to relearn that GOD IS ENOUGH FOR EVERYTHING!
Jehovah is there. He is already THERE, wherever we will be, wherever we are! My provider is there! My shepherd is there! My banner is there! He would not have brought us this far to leave us. He promises to never leave us or forsake us! He promises to meet our needs according to His glorious riches in Heaven! He will continue to guide us. He will provide for us. He will make a way for us, even when there seems to be no way. But it requires us to STEP OUT OF THE BOAT. It requires us to STEP INTO THE RED SEA or the JORDAN RIVER. It requires FAITH! I must deny my fears. I must feed my faith. I must not take my eyes off Jesus. Because living by faith, requires a steady gaze toward the loving Jehovah God. I choose FAITH.